Having a strong marriage.....

I met with a woman on Monday who lost her 6 month old 28 years ago. It was great knowing that someone had gone though the same thing as me. 


I found out that she goes to Mariners (does everyone in OC go to Mariners?) And she was talking about making sure that Jeff and I really pray together and take this time to bring us together, instead of tear us apart. 


She had some great advice for me that she said helped her over the years. Her advice was to make sure that Jeff and I take care of our marriage and really guard our relationship. She told us that the divorce rate is higher among couples who have lost a child. This scared the heck out of me. I have already lost my baby and I couldn't even think about losing the other love of my life.


I think that Jeff and I have been working on communication in our marriage since day one. We are SO different in our communication styles and it is nice to know that all that work is going to help us now.


Jeff has really been amazing in all this. There are things that he knows I can't handle doing right now, like cleaning up Brendan's room, or going to the Mortuary to pick up Brendan's belongings. And even though he knows that they have to get done, he is okay with doing it, or waiting for me. I am a control freak and I have to be the one to clean his room and make sure that things don't get thrown away, and I have to know that when I want something, I am going to know where it is. I am sure that this is just irritating to him, but he is so calm and relaxed and knows that this is the way that I grieve. 


I am so thankful that we have a strong marriage and that we have already been through so much. This is the icing on the cake of challenge and I think that Jeff can take it.


We know that as long as we have God at the base of our marriage, we can handle anything. :)

5 years and still going strong.