Sunday, February 27, 2011

In case you didn't know

Things you probably don't know about me, but should.

1. I am scared of the dark. I am 29 years old, and I am scared of the dark.

2. One of my favorite movies is the Birdcage. Random. I know.

3. I used to have a basset hound. His name was Dudley. He slept in bed with me. He smelled like dirt, drool and old socks.

4. I have a husband. His name is Jeff. He sleeps in bed with me. He smells like Old Spice, dial soap and cookies.

5. I lived in India for 3 months. I still can't believe that I survived.

6. I have, more than once, eaten an entire box of Double Stuf Oreos in less than 2 days. All by myself.

7. I love to bake.

8. I love to eat more than I love to bake.

9. I love office supplies. Seriously, I have more pens than you can ever imagine. I have tons of notebooks, notepads, and sticky notes. It is a sickness.

10. At night while breastfeeding Dylan (sometimes 4 times a night) I watch Friends on a small tv in Dylan's room. Since he was born 5 months ago, I have gone through all 10 seasons 4 times. I can quote every episode of every season. Yet it never gets old.

11. I can't dance. I am quite possibly the worst dancer ever.

12. I have a secret love of reality tv shows. I love The Real World/ Road Rules Challenges. I love all things bad tv. It drives Jeff crazy.

13. I think that I am way hotter than I really am. It's a sickness, really.

14. I have about 20 pairs of shoes and I only wear about 3. Those 3 pairs are ones that I have had since high school.

15. While typing this blog post, I consumed and entire box of Tagalongs. I make no apologies.

On an unrelated note: My stomach hurts and I have a headache.

Monday, February 21, 2011

How you know you are a mom

For those of you that are so sleep deprived you forget which end is up, this post is for you.

How you know you are a mom:

1. The spit up stain on your shirt. The shirt that you forgot had a stain on it. The shirt you are now wearing to church. Just tell people the stain happened on the way to church. They'll never know.

2. The laundry has multiplied as of late. And not just because of all the spit up stained shirts. There are lots of little items of clothing laying around. Most of them are dirty. These little items are also covered in spit up.

3. You have stretch marks on your body. They didn't used to be there. You used to have a great looking body. Now your jeans fit weird and you have a muffin top.

4. You can't remember the last time you used the bathroom alone.

5. There are lots of new toys lying around the house. A tiny swing. Lots of noisy toys. Toys that give you a headache.

6. You have a headache. You have had one for a while. It won't go away. You suspect the tiny, noisy toys and sleep deprivation are to blame.

7. You can't remember the last time you slept for more than 4 hours.

8. It takes you twice as long to complete every day tasks. You used to be able to do your hair in 30 minutes flat. Now you are lucky to get it done in an hour.

9. Your fancy purse that you love dearly has been replaced with a huge bag filled with diapers, wipes, medicine, toys, pacifiers, clothes, and burp cloths. This big bag, it is cute, but it doesn't match any of your clothes. Bummer.

10. You spend endless amounts of time shopping. Not that this is any different than before, but now you find yourself wandering the baby aisle. You have the baby section memorized at Target.

11. You didn't realize before this little person came into your life that you had this much room to love. When you got married, you gave your heart to your spouse. Then when you had this little person, miraculously, your heart grew to make room. And when you have more little people, your heart will grow and you will wonder how your life was ever happy without them. That's how you know you are a mom.