Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Dear Brendan

Dear Brendan,
I never got to teach you the things that a mom is supposed to teach her son because you went to heaven too soon. So here is a list of the things that you need to know while you grow up in heaven.

·         Put God first in everything that you do
o   This should be easy for you, because you see him on a daily basis. You are one of the lucky ones that gets to hang out with God before the rest of us.
o   A word of advice: always let God cut in front of you in line for the slide. The first may be last and the last first when it comes to heaven, but this doesn’t count when it comes to God. Let the dude go first.

·         Eat your fruit and vegetables
o   I know that you now have a perfect body and you probably don’t have to worry about eating healthy. But it is important to take care of it.
o   A word of advice: stay away from apple trees. It’s a long story, ask God about his history with apple trees sometime. I am sure that he won’t mind telling you the story.

·         Be a gentleman
o   Open the door for girls. Trust me, we like it when you do that. We appreciate the little things that you do for us.
o   A word of advice: don’t stand at the pearly gates and hold the door open for the ladies. Peter gets mad when you bogart his job responsibilities.

·         Sing loud!
o   I hear that there is a lot of singing up in heaven. You like singing and should have fun.
o   A word of advice: if you don’t know the words, smile and nod and mouth watermelon over and over. It is an old trick of the trade. God won’t get mad, he will appreciate your efforts. Just make sure you learn the words eventually. No one likes a lazy choir member.

·         Playing in the mud
o   Have fun playing in the mud. Make sure that you get really really dirty. The dirtier you get, the more fun you will have.
o   A word of advice: don’t track mud into God’s house. Mud stains, and trust me, no cleaner (heavenly or not) gets out a good mud stain.

·         Always put the toilet seat down
o   Remember what I said about the ladies appreciating the small things? Trust me, this little gesture will go a long way.
o   A word of advice:  Boys will be boys and they will undoubtedly challenge you to a “who can pee further” contest. This is a rite of passage for all young men, I know, but please don’t go up against God. He is all powerful: need I say more?

·         Share
o   Share what you have with the people that need it most. The more you give away, the more you gain in the long run.
o   A word of advice: God knows your intentions, therefore, don’t try and pull a fast one on him. He knows when you are doing something just to get more in the end. He always has an eye on you. And I would be careful, because you are much closer to him up there than you were down here. In fact, you are so close that I bet he has two eyes on you.

·         Always stop and smell the roses
o   Take time to enjoy the little things up there in heaven. You have all the time in the world, don’t rush.
o   A word of advice: God created the roses, so it wouldn’t hurt to mention that you like a certain flower or plant when He is around. It will not go unnoticed. God likes flattery as much as the next guy.

·         Last, Remember that I will always love you
o   You may be a million miles away, but you will always be mine. You have a special place in my heart, forever.
o   A word of advice: your daddy may say that he loves you most, but nothing says I love you like 9 months of pregnancy, 3 of which were spent sick to my stomach, 5 hours of labor, and pushing something the size of a melon, out something the size of a walnut. So remember, mommy always wins.

1 comment:

  1. I love your sense of humor. That was such a great letter to Brendan! :)