Friday, July 1, 2011

Reasons why I could never be the next Bachelorette

Ok, so besides the obvious that I am happily married, here are a few more reasons:

1. I will never look that good in a bikini. Ever.

2. I am not a tramp. I have kissed a few guys. I have had boyfriends. But I am not a fan of kissing more than one guy in a week. Or a day. Or in an hour.

3. I can't pin on a boutonniere. I would either stab myself or the guy. Chris would have to hand out band-aids behind me.

4. I am a people pleaser. I hate making people sad. Which means that each rose ceremony would be awful. I would probably tear roses in half just to have enough for everyone.

5. I would giggle uncontrollably when Chris offered us the "fantasy suite". Even if I didn't have my morals, I would still not take the key because my mother would be watching the show. I am not about to let her see me act like a hussy.

6. I wear jeans and flip flops all the time. I am not about to walk around Hong Kong in high heels. 

7. I would love having all the cameras around, because you know I love the attention. But I would also not be able to stop asking if I looked fat. The camera adds 10 pounds, you know.

8. I love having attention (see #7) and would very much enjoy having 20 guys vying for my attention. But I would have a problem sending them home. Unless one of them was Bentley. He has got to go.

9. I don't stand over bridges and contemplate life quietly with cameras around. I get things done. I don't get all weepy thinking about my past loves.

10. I talk too much. ABC doesn't have enough available air time to run all the important stuff I have to say.

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