Tuesday, August 2, 2011

When I am stressed I.....

1. Talk, a lot. So much in fact that the people around me get annoyed. And not just normal annoyed, tune me out and want to hurt me annoyed. You think I talk a lot on a normal basis? Just wait...

2. Drink caffeine. Because I feel like I need more energy to deal with my a) screaming child b) my fussy child, and c) my overly tired child. This of course does not help with #1. Because as you can imagine, with more caffeine, I am likely to talk for hours on end without breathing. It has been known to happen.

3. Clean. Yes, I am Monica Geller. I clean obsessively when I am stressed. This is good because a) I am burning calories and b) the house gets super clean. Yep, heath inspector clean.

4. Want so badly to step into a hot bath with bubbles and tune out the world, but the little man that refuses to sleep, eat, or do anything remotely relaxing won't let me relax. Therefore, I turn to #'s 1-3

5. Mostly, though, when I am stressed, I eat. And let's be honest. This girl can eat. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, brownies, ice cream, string cheese (I know that this is not terribly exciting, but I don't pull it apart, I just shove the whole thing in my mouth. It is not attractive), oreos - double stuf, of course, chocolate chips (because they are the only chocolate in the house and better than nothing), crackers, chips and salsa. You name it, I will eat it when I am stressed.

The reason that I tell you this is because my child is currently fussing it out in his crib. He has been cranky all day long. He is overly tired. He is so tired in fact that he refuses to nurse, rest, sleep, or be calm. I have already had 2 brownies. These brownies were made less than an hour ago. They are supposed to be saved for tomorrow night bible study. Oops. This is why I do not have sweets in the house. Because they last all of 20 minutes before the shear temptation and smell over takes me and I give in and eat them. When I am stressed, the smell and temptation take over in less than 5 minutes. It is really quite a thing to behold.

The other reason I tell you this is because my house is perfectly clean. There is nothing to clean. Therefore I had to resort to eating. I blame my fat butt on the clean house. Stupid house.

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