Thursday, October 6, 2011

Carrie's "cry it out" method

Those of you that know me know that I am not a fan of the cry it out method. It is just too hard for me. Call me weak, call me whatever you like, but I just can't do it.

There are, however a few times when it is totally okay to let your child scream. Please allow me to explain:

1. When you are in the car. Listen little man, I know that you are fed, changed and generally taken care of. So this crying thing is because you are bored. If I cried every time I was bored, my biology teacher in high school would have hated me even more than he did.

2. When you buckle your child into a car seat. I worked really hard to get you here to this earth safe and sound (9 months feeling fat and bloated, swollen ankles, you get the idea) and I am not about to throw away all that work just because you have all of a sudden decided that you are too cool for a seat belt. I have to wear one, and I think that I am pretty cool. Although I do own a station wagon, and I own 4 pairs of sweatpants that I wear often, and I.....wait, don't think you can distract me. This is about you buddy! You are going to be strapped into that seat if for no other reason than if you aren't, I know that you will climb into the front seat and jump all over me and stick your fingers in my nose and ears and you will pull down my shirt and just generally annoy me. Listen, I love you dearly, but in the car it is mommy time. I am allowed to ignore your cries in the car, because I am not about to pull over on the side of the road on the I-40 and get run over or approached from some crazy old man who asks me if I need help. Trust me Dylan, I am doing this for your own good, too.

3. When you change a diaper. We all have kids that hate getting their diaper changed, we also have a kid that every once in a while will scream bloody murder while you are trying to get poop out of every crack and crevice of their chubby little bodies. I am not going to let you sit in a pile of your own stink. I know that you don't care, but I do. You wreak. You can scream as much as you want, the neighbors already think that I am a terrible mom because I drive a station wagon and wear sweatpants. So who cares if they hear you scream, it won't be the last time. At least not until you are potty trained and can clean your own fat little tushy.

4. When it is business time. Yes, I went there. If Dylan wants a little brother or sister to torment in a couple years, then he is going to have to sit in his crib if he wakes up early from his nap and cry. I love you, darling, but trust me, one day you will understand. Since this *ahem* business transaction doesn't occur often in our house, I can guarantee little man, that it won't last long. You won't be crying for long. Just wait for a couple minutes. Trust me, it makes mommy and daddy a whole lot happier.

5. When you are in the shower. There is nothing worse than having a crying child while you are shampooing your hair. Listen kiddo, I haven't showered in like 2 days because you like being at my side 24/7. I wreak. I have smell lines coming off of me. All I want is a shower. I want to wash my hair, shave my disgustingly hairy legs and come out looking and smelling like my pre-baby self. When you cry while I have shampoo in my hair and soap all over, you are going to be left for a minute to cry. I would rather you sit and cry for a minute than have CPS called on me for dropping a baby on a hard floor. Trying to comfort you while covered in soap with shampoo dripping in my eyes is only going to hinder my abilities as a mom. Trust me little man, it is best for both of us if I leave you to cry. Just don't wipe your snot on me after I get out. Because as we both know, it will be at least 2 days before I can wash it off.

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