Friday, April 29, 2011

How you know you are a dad

This is for you Jeff. Thank you for encouraging me daily, being the most supportive husband when I felt like I just couldn't do it, and for giving me two beautiful children. I love you. And I promise to wear cute underwear again. Someday.


How you know that you are a dad:


Your wife's normally cute and fit body has gotten a little saggy. Okay, a lot saggy.


In your house, sweatpants are the new black.


You didn't realize that bras could cover so much.


Victoria's Secret has been replaced by Hanes Her Way.


You are excited that your wife hasn't bought clothes for herself in a while.


She comes home instead with bags full of little clothes.


Alone time? What is that again?


Napping is the new sex.


Sex? What is that again?


Your mother, who used to call just to talk to you and find out how you are doing, calls now just to ask why you haven't posted more pictures of her grand baby.



There are little toys everywhere. You have almost landed yourself in the emergency room several times.


Date night night out has been replaced by quiet night in. Quiet because you know that if you turn on the surround sound and wake up your baby, your wife will hurt you because it took her 30 minutes to get him to go to sleep.


You just spent an entire afternoon laughing and playing with your baby. Hours went by and you were in another world.


You didn't realize that men could also get dark circles. The worst part? You can't use concealer.


You used to feel pride from things at work or your personal accomplishments. Now you burst at the seams when this little person learns to sit up, or walk, or talk....


You never realized that you could actually function with so little sleep.


Sports cars have been replaced with mini vans and hatch backs.


New tools have been replaced by car seats and strollers.


And you never realized that there was this much room in your heart for love.

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